Facebook dah tukar nama.

Assalamualaikum.


Lately, tengok facebook rasa macam dah masuk laman lovebook. Mana taknye, mula-mula tengok recent news feed.


NurFazlin Hainis : Konon nak pujuk saya la kan. Sampai sanggup datang rumah , nak bagi. Ahah , okay . Maaf diterima. Thankyou . iloveyou, Mohamad Syahir

#updated: Diorang ni dah bertunang


Fitri Kamis : commented on Maisarra Anuar II photo, #ada pic i love you#


Aqilah QiQi : My dear Adam, you dont have to drive any BMW or Skyline to be gorgeous. Be an imam in prayers. That's how I define gorgeous. You dont have to have nice voice and hush me with lovely songs to woo me. Recite the Kalamullah, Al-Quranulkareem. That's how i would melt. You dont have to be rich for me to love you.

Fatin Nabila : Tercipta wanita dari rusuk lelaki, bukan dari kaki untuk dialasi, bukan dari kepala untuk dijunjung, tapi dekat di bahu untuk dilindungi, dekat jua di hati untuk dikasihi.


TheOtherKhairul : Often times men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change.

Conclusion, semua orang tengah cakap pasal love, relationship and marriage.
Pastu, semua tengah kecoh pasal TheMissDena kena propose dengan cara yang sangat awesome. Mana-mana bloggers mesti ada buat review pasal tu. Komen itu, komen ini. Then, semua cakap so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeett. Tak keterlaluan kalau aku cakap ramai perempuan nak macamtu. The thing is, to deserve an awesome moment, you have to be an awesome person.


Future and Relationship
Tapi, perkara yang aku nak highlightkan kat sini, totally bukan pasal miss dena yang comel itu. Aku nak highlightkan pasal kawan-kawan facebook aku tadi. What the heck are you talking about??? Kenapa ramai sangat yang update status sebegitu dalam satu masa. Sedang elok waktu aku tengah fbwalking. Diyana cakap,  we're 18. It's about time to think about our future. *ehem ehem, aku 17 forever*. #updated: *21 Forever please* Wait wait wait, kenapa future dikaitkan dengan relationship? Hal ini kerana,

• Woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• Man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man that could find money more than her expenses.

See, reciprocal rite? Sebab tulah future dikaitkan dengan relationship. Especially, perempuan.  Semester ni, banyak subjek baru yang best-best. Economy, writing, speaking and global issue. Oh ye, one more thing... social psychology. Interesting... So, dalam subjek social psychology ada tajuk close relationship. What the heck is this close relationship? Close relationship covers three aspects whereas interdependent relationship with family and friend vs loneliness, romantic relationship and fallin in love and also, marriage : happily ever after and otherwise. #correct me if i'm wrong#

Interdependent Relationships
Interdependence merujuk kepada dua orang yang influence each other's lives. For instance, thoughts, opinions and activities. Family is trailblazer for relationships and style attachment. Kiranya parents-child ni asas kepada relationship y'all with others. Style attachment pulak a style or way developed on the parents child interactions. It leads to attitude formation whereas involving your own attitude and about other people attitude. Attachment style ada 4 iaitu

• Secure style - high self esteem and trust
• Fearful-avoidant style - low self esteem and trust
• Preoccupied style - low self esteem and high in trust. Contohnya macam, korang rasa nak form relationship with someone tapi, tak yakin.
• Dismissing style - high in self esteem and low in trust. For example, korang would like to form in relationship but in the same time takut kena reject. So, sebelum your partner reject y'all, korang akan reject dia dulu. Gila pathetic.

Since relationship mempunyai aspek yang luas seperti family-child interaction, siblings and friends. So, aku nak cerita satu benda je which is romantic relationship, fallin in love, and marriage. Plus, member-member facebook aku semuanya bercakap pasal hal ni.

Normally, male tends to select soulmate/souulmateS based on their attractiveness. Meanwhile female tends to find male with resources. Senang cakap, orang kaya la. Contohnya macam airplanes driver, engineer, accountant and etc. Nowadays, people will find their soulmate via internet websites. As i mentioned earlier, facebook dah jadi lovebook.

Love

Love is combination of emotions, cognitions, and behaviours that play a crucial role in intimate relationship. Love could be classified into a few types whereas ;

• Passionate love (Mania) - kau sayang orang tu sangat-sangat sampai kau pun gila since tak bleh balance otak dengan perasaan. Sayang punya pasal kan, kekasih kau suruh terjun bangunan pun sanggup. I jump, u jump konon. Tu nak ajak pergi neraka namanya.
• Unrequited love - Pathetic namanya. Cinta tak berbalas. Bak kata orang Melayu, tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi. The thing is, tepuk sebelah tangan boleh berbunyi sebenarnya. Try lah. Tapi, effectnya tak sehebat tepuk dua tangan. Okey, abaikan pasal soal bertepuk tangan ni dulu. Menurut kajian, lelaki  experienced unrequited love more than woman. Tapi, buat lelaki yang kena dump semuanya. Taksalah pun kalau nak survive unrequited love. Because, impossible is nothing. One fine day, it will be requited love jugak. Tak percaya? Kau tanyalah Ahadiat Akashah. In this case, person yang direjek cintanya akan rasa sedih and yang merejek, sure confirm lah rasa bersalah. Unless kalau dump people is your hobby.  Haha.
• Companionate love (Storge) - The best type of love sebab berteraskan persahabatan. Macam kisah teman tapi mesra lah. Or else, macam lagu Lucky - Jason Mraz feat Colbie Caillat. In this case, mostly couple will share same interest, common activities. Korang jugak will tend to care for each other welfare. Kan best camtu. 

• Game playing love (Ludus) - Yang ni paling femes whereas suka mempermainkan perasaan orang. Tackle sini sikit, adjust sana sikit then dah dapat, make people completely insane cintakan dia. Then, tinggalkan. Mega pathetic namanya. Nasihat aku, never trust people easily. They will hurt you silently.  (MissChillax, 2011). Normally, diorang ni bluffmaster. Memang pandai tipu orang. Tapi, sepandai-pandai tupai melompat pandai lagi penguin menyorok. Mostly, for the Luduser ni, they think that love as a game. Love is not a game. Game tu macam DOTA, Skyrimm, Angry Birds. Yeah, itu game. And our life is a game. 

• Possessive love (Eros) - Bersikap ingin memiliki. For example bila someone keluarkan ayat "She's mine" . Banyak la kau. Sesungguhnya takde nama kau pun kat dahi dia. Jadi, someone could not assume that her or his partner is belong to theirs. Tidak ye. A big no no. Even kalau korang married pun, still could not assume like that. Boleh tu boleh, possessive. Tapi, do not act beyond the limit. As an example, setiap orang ada their own identity, right? Tapi, disebabkan possessive kau tu buatkan your partner dah tak kenal diri sendiri. Kau ubah sini, kau tukar sana. Super pathetic for your partner. 
• Logical love (Pragma) - This one, realistic. Berpijak di bumi nyata lah. Takdenye statement macam "Cintaku sedalam samudera, setinggi langit di angkasa". Cinta tu abstrak. Mana boleh ukur. Love is not crazy, intense or out of control. Most of the time, dia akan fikir logik. They will tend to think "Boleh ke aku hidup dengan dia, Mercedes 10 bijik, banglo ada 6. Aku ni, dah la allergic dengan Mercedes and banglo sume tu. Sawan aku dibuatnya" . So, when it comes to pragma, for sure lah orang yang allergic dengan banglo dan Mercedes takkan kahwin dengan orang yang ada Mercedes dan banglo. 

Okey. Tamat dengan love.

Romantic Relationship
Ada tiga aspect. Intimacy, passion and commitment. Intimacy to macam level of y'all closeness'. Passion is excitement. And commitment is something yang melibatkan minda. Macam kena fikir tu, fikir ni. Sternberg yang cakap. Bukan aku.  And overall, ada tujuh equation.

Liking = Intimacy sahaja (Macam member-member without passion and long term commitment)
Infatuation = Passion sahaja (Obsessisve first love sight without intimacy and commitment)

Empty Love = Commitment sahaja (Macam unrequited love. Love another without intimacy and passion)
Fatuous Love = Passion + Commitment (Shallow relationship without intimacy)
Companionate Love = Intimacy + Commitment (Passion has faded)
Romantic Love = Intimacy + Passion (Without commitment)
Consummate Love = Intimacy + Passion + Commitment (The best form, complete and ideal)

Marriage
Most of the time, married people has shared common interest and sama je lah senang cakap. Semua nak similar. Orang tu suka makan cekodok. Partner dia pun suka makan cekodok. Camtulah lebih kurang. Success marriage biasanya berlaku kalau dua-dua suka makan cekodok. Maknanya, a lot of similarities between each other.

Is it better to be married or to be unmarried?
According to research done, lelaki akan jadi lebih bahagia dan sihat kalau diorang get married. Kalau perempuan, marriage yang okey, stabil dan kukuh will make them healthier. Tapi, kalau marriage tu hampeh, it would be vice versa. Boleh cepat mati kalau involve dalam hampeh marriage.

How to deal marital problems?

•  Use constructive style. Contohnya macam kau nak marah pasal cekodok. Tapi, bila gaduh...dengan belacan, asam pedas, kari ayam, sup daging, kek tiramisu semua kau ungkit. Then, sampai makanan tahun lepas pun boleh jadi issue. 
• Dont avoid the situation. Tengah rasa nak marah, suddenly dua-dua lari. Sorang pergi Amsterdam, sorang pergi Kaherah. Acamane tu? We have to deal with the problem. Not avoid it.
• Next. mana aku tau. Aku bukan kaunselor rumahtangga. Haha

In US, most of the divorced people, remarry. Kat Malaysia, macam kes rujuk-rujuk tu lah. Macam Abby ngan Norman cerai, pastu rujuk. At last, Norman kahwin dengan Memey happily ever after. Amat penting untuk dijelaskan di sini, divorced people boleh remarry dengan syarat takde gangguan 

alternative love or orang ketiga. Orang ketiga amatlah mengganggu di sini. Kalau tak de gangguan, insyaALLAH failing marriage may be saved.

Tengok cerita Tentang Dhia. Bagai menempuh alam akhirat sebelum masanya kalau dapat mak mentua macam setan. Mak aku cakap, lebih baik cerai/mati daripada dapat mak mentua kaki fitnah orang.

p/s : entry paling panjang dan erghh. ambil masa yang lama

p/ss : tak sia-sia belajar Social psychology.

Madahberhelah : Kau belajar psycho kan?
Misschillax : Yup.
Madahberhelah : Okey, cuba kau teka apa yang aku rasa sekarang ni?
Misschillax : *Ingat aku ahli nujum ke* Jap, aku tau. Kau tengah rasa lapar kan?
Madahberhelah : Ehhhh, camane kau tau aku lapar? Aku memang tengah lapar dari tadi lagi. Before kau call.
Misschillax : *Yess! tembakan mengena* Oh yeke? Haha. Aku tembak je lah.
Madahberhelah : Haha. Tapi, memang betul-betul aku lapar.
Misschillax : tak sia-sia belajar social psychology.